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I’m sure everyone at one time or another has seen a painting of a group of gentlemanly canines engaged in an anthropomorphic game of poker as created by Cassius Coolidge in his wonderful series of poker playing dog paintings. But check this out, the artists whimsicality was not entirely removed from reality. You may be nave enough to think that chips and chimps cannot play together as a team and it sounds more like something out of a Douglas Adams novel. Should you ever play online poker with a player who has an ape photo for his icon, it may not have been just a player with an odd sense of humor, the dude that took your money by his excellent play may really be a poker playing primate. I kid you not. Apes can do a lot more than wield tools in this twenty first century of technological advances and “intelligence explosion” they can also beat you at online poker.

Primate Programming Inc has found that great apes (who share 97% of DNA with us) are competent IT specialists and are employed by PPI. They enter a training program and upon graduation perform their services with PPI’s clients while demanding very low wages. Somewhere down the line, it was discovered that these employees also can be taught to play poker showing a particular knack for no-limit Texas Hold’em.

They favor no-limit poker, PPI informs us, because of their proclivity for playful (or half-playful) displays of aggression. In other words, the apes are naturally great at aggressive bluffing. In no-limit games, a player has the possibility to bet all they have at any time – this requires risky, aggressive play and the ability to bluff.

Since there is no way to identify the poker players online due to its anonymous nature, no one knows if their opponents are human or something other than human. That player who started off betting small and showing his lame cards to all, the one who much later bet large, had everyone call, then gleefully showed aces was probably one of the non-humans. The players had no idea he then jumped up and down, pounded his chest and demanded a banana.

The primate-players’ initial employment as computer programmers is not coincidental. It seems, according to PPI, that they independently develop programs which aide them during games. The nature of these programs has not yet been revealed. One thing is sure: “DrDestructo” and “ThePikerMan” could have a full-time professional (online) poker career, if only they wanted to. Outside the laboratory/office, they may neglect their training and prefer the old game of hurtling themselves at the bars of zoo cages and then grin their monkey grin at the startled adults and children. Still, as long as they are paid and fed regular, with bonuses, and are allowed to mate, David Sklansky and Ed Miller may need to update their No-limit Hold’em books in the nearest future.

For the past several years, Norm McAuliffe, a Yale biology Phd and the scientist heading the research team behind the discovery of programmer apes, has been investing money and effort into a Primate Poker Inc, “hiring” profitable ape-players to play for money in rotating shifts, 24 hours a day. He has been quoted as saying: “I’m completely committed to this business model. It is reasonable to say I am “all in”.

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Although the Breeders’ Cup is nipping at its heels, without a doubt the Kentucky Derby is the biggest horse race of the year in the United States. This is a race that attracts many fans from the general public that typically don’t follow horse racing. A thorough understanding of horse racing, and which horses will win and why is a complex discipline that requires extensive specialized knowledge.

A true fluency in horse racing takes extensive study, but here are a few concepts that can help anyone better understand and enjoy the Kentucky Derby. Until recently, the Derby was a race dominated by the favorite. Since Spectacular Bid won the Derby in 1979, however, you can count the favorites who’ve won the race on one hand with fingers left over. In other words, the easiest way to pare down the field for a horse racing novice is to simply eliminate the popular favorite from consideration.

So why has the favorite done so poorly in recent years? One theory suggests that it is a by-product of the hype surrounding the race. Novice horse fans back the favorite, making it more of a popularity contest than anything else. The reality is that the horse with the most hype is not always the best horse.

Post position is also something that the horse racing neophyte should pay attention to. Obviously post position number 1 is an advantage relative to the outer ones, but it hasnt been a strong edge over the other inside positions. Twelve Derby winners have had the #1 position going into the race (the most of any position) but positions #4 and #5 have had ten winners each. In terms of percentages, positions #1 through #5 have yielded 49 winners (or just under 40%). On the other hand, the outermost positions (#11 through #20) have had just 16 winners (or just under 13%). It is important to note that theres not always that many horses in the race, which would obviously result in few higher posts winning. Still, concentrating on horses with favorable post positions is another way to pare down a field that you know little about.

A horse’s lineage and breeding is also an important factor in the race. While this may be the most complex and demanding area of horse racing, there is a simple rule of thumb that can help a novice for this race. Most high level race horses are born in Kentucky. Well over 80% of Derby winners have also been born in the Bluegrass State. So just eliminate all horses that weren’t born in Kentucky. Then consider a horse’s gender and eliminate any horse that isn’t an intact male (geldings and fillies). Over 90% of all Derby winners have been intact males, though a gelding did win the race in 2003 (Funny Cide). For the horse racing novice, however,this is another good way to pare down the field.

Don’t forget to consider dosage index numbers. These are a complex mathematical formula that measures a horse’s breeding lineage plus his past performance. You want to look for horses with a dosage index of 4.00 or less–over half of Derby winners have met this criteria since dosage numbers came into common usage in the mid 1980′s.

If you want to learn about horse racing in more depth, there are countless books available to introduce you to the subject. For a recreational fan who just wants to have a better understanding of the Kentucky Derby, these rules can help.

Ross Everett is a freelance sports writer and respected authority on World Cup betting. His writing has appeared on a variety of sports sites including sports news and sportsbook directory sites. He lives in Las Vegas with three Jack Russell Terriers and a kangaroo. He is currently working on an autobiography of former interior secretary James Watt.

Sports gambling is a popular pursuit because everyone understands the basics of how teams win and lose and why. Horses, meanwhile, are an entirely different animal”no pun intended. It is a complex discipline unto itself, and a sound background in handicapping sports doesn’t insure success, or even mediocrity in handicapping the ponies. In fact, the history of sports betting is replete with successful gamblers that had a weakness for horse betting, with an emphasis on the word weakness. Most notable, perhaps, is the former resident handicapper at CBS, Jimmy The Greek Snyder. The story goes that The Greek was a first rate sports handicapper, but he couldn’t pick the winner of a one horse race when playing the ponies. The bad news for The Greek is that he enjoyed playing the ponies nonetheless, and often frittered away the money he won at the other end of the sportsbook.

Were not going to suggest that the information here even scratches the surface of what you need to know to become a serious horse handicapper. There are countless books, DVDs and other media that you should check out if this is your goal. If you’re interested in simply knowing the basics so that you can enjoy a day at the track, here are some basic concepts of horse handicapping:

Reading in Fundamental: The first thing you should do when you arrive at the horse track is to purchase a track program and a copy of the Daily Racing Form. The Daily Racing Form (or DRF for short) is the Wall Street Journal of the horse handicapping set. The track program will offer much of the same information about the specific track, but is frequently in a more user friendly format than the often arcane DRF. The basic stats you’ll find in these publications are the names of the horses, jockeys and trainers, the morning line odds, and the types of bets available for each race. You’ll also have past performance charts, which are the bread and butter of serious horse handicappers. These charts reveal a lot about a horse and what they’ve done on the racetrack, including its record, where it ran, the quality of competition it ran against, and what position the horse was in at various points in the race. Most tracks have customer service types that are helpful in clearing up anything you don’t understand. While asking the personnel in a sports book who they like isn’t a wise idea, its OK at the track for a reason well now discuss”you’re not playing against them.

The House Doesn’t Care Who Wins: One thing that is important for the sports bettor to remember when playing the horses is that its a parimutuel situation. In other words, you’re not playing against the house, you’re playing against the other bettors. The track just facilitates the betting and acts as a middleman, handling the money for a fee (15 to 25 percent of the parimutuel pool). Another difference is that the track odds are determined by how much money is bet on each horse. If everyone bets on one horse”whether it is the best horse, or just has the catchiest name”it will go off as the favorite. Long odds on a horse doesn’t necessarily indicate a bad horse, but just one that the wagering public isn’t investing in. Sometimes this can be one and the same, but not always.

The odds in the newspaper are known as the ‘morning odds’ and are essentially educated opinions. They’re not much different than ‘overnight lines’ in sports betting. They can serve a function for handicapping, but often will not reflect what will transpire when the actual betting begins.

The Basics of Handicapping: Even expert handicappers approach the sport differently and, like his sports gambling counterpart, may place greater emphasis on the importance of certain data than other handicappers. Some handicappers place a great deal of weight on a horses past performances, including the quality of opposition hes run against. Others place greater value on recent workouts, and still others go to the paddock to eyeball the horses and try to determine which ones are ready to run.

Once a bettor reaches a conclusion about what he thinks will happen in a given race, it is still subject to the odds that are available when betting. This is similar to sports gambling, where an underdog may be more attractive due to an excessively high payback potential than he would ordinary, or, conversely, a clear favorite becomes an unattractive wagering proposition due to a prohibitively high price. Its all a matter of the math–if I could speak to the teenagers of America, I’d try to impress upon them the importance of doing well in math for no other reason than its importance in all forms of gambling.

Training and bloodlines: Handicappers often focus on a horse’s breeding lineage, considering the quality of the bloodlines and the racing pedigree of his parents and grandparents. Others put great focus on a horse’s trainers. An ‘A-list’ trainer can often get the most out of a horse much in the same way an elite level NFL coach can cause a team to ‘over perform’.

Jockeys: Jockeys are independent agents, and thus to make the most money they need to win the most races. The more a jockey wins, the better ‘rides’ he gets and the more money he makes. Surprisingly, many serious horse players put minimal importance on the jockey. It’s essentially a case where even the best jockey can’t win with a bad horse. In other words, if a jockey is seen as ‘competent’ there are many other more significant factors for the handicapper to consider.

Dedication and Discipline: There’s not a set formula for successful horse handicapping, so try different things and find what works for you. And, as always, don’t go overboard with the money you wager and particularly until you get a feel for what you’re doing. If you’re interested in learning more, check out the Daily Racing Form website.

Ross Everett is a well known freelance writer specializing in travel, poker and sports handicapping. He is a consulting handicapper for Anatta Sports where he is responsible for providing daily free sports picks. In his spare time he enjoys fine dining, fencing and deep sea diving. He lives in Southern Nevada with four dogs and a pet coyote.

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